There’s a high school robotics contest called FIRST Robotics where thousands of student teams compete to build and program huge robots to compete in robots sports. Each team (in addition to, y’know, building the actual robot) has to pick a name and develop their marketing brand. This is undoubtedly the most difficult part of the entire competition and I am here to help.

Thanks to Kendra from the Aluminum Narwhals (which is an awesome team name in itself), I had a list of 6,197 names of teams that have competed in the past. I fed this list to a recurrent neural network, which is a type of machine learning algorithm that learns to imitate the examples it sees. I’ve used programs like this to generate new names for guinea pigs, halloween costumes, and pies, so I had no doubt it could deliver a few suggestions to help out future generations of robotics teams.

First, the names that I was actually surprised didn’t exist. I think nobody would bat an eye at these.

Atominators
Golderbots
ROBSTERS
The Attac Kings
Rust School
DangerBots
RoboTippers
Wormbots
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This next category, though… Eyes might be batted. There might even be a slow blink of confusion. Take advantage of that confusion and CRUSH your enemies.

Panthering Roobodas
Bobilian Engineeriators
Bagbotics
MERM!
Power Scare
School Eye Knights
Meghanic Panthill
Green Obscurum
Jacket Devils
Robo Bots
The Junky Doltimes
Voltum Beaminators
Electric Sunphonge
Robot Robotics of the Robotics
Combotical Spiderbot Dragon

With a name from this third category, you will strike true fear in the hearts of your adversaries. For who but the most competent, most valiant team would be bold enough to name themselves “CHARD”?

Eagle Slurg
Scone
Ham & Panthers
Thumper Birds
Linda
Cows
Team Squotz
The Wolvesdog
Planking
CHARD
Nutcornets
Robot Horse
Blue Robotics Splord
HALAFSS
SQLASH Code No Bots
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And then, just to see what would happen, I trained a neural network on years worth of Night Vale transcripts and then trained it ever so slightly on the list of robotics transcripts. It shouldn’t have worked. I have no idea how it worked. I think joining these teams is compulsory.

Exists
BOOP
I am projects
The Glow Wingers
Station Flynn’s Bears
THREAT
The Faceless
Secretly Robotics
Does Bears
Team NOT Robotics
Some Blinkin Robotics
WALKS THE MEATS
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